(My daughter and I)
There is so much to give thanks for this year! God has been beyond amazing to my family and I. As I reflect on this past year…words cannot explain how overwhelmed I am with thanks. I don’t just give thanks one day a year because it is thanksgiving…I give thanks to God everyday for waking up, being in good health, having a healthy and brilliant child, and so much more.
This past year has been a trying one…every day hasn’t been easy, I’ve seen more struggle than easy days, but that is okay. It’s apart of my destiny and where I’m going. I don’t regret anything, I’ve simply learned and now I move forward. Back in May of this year, I was in a position where I had to leave the father of my child. It was a situation where mines and her life depended on it. I didn’t want to go, I wanted to see if we could work it out, but that would not have been healthy for myself nor my child. As the spring and summer months went by, I was filled with agony as I walked around with a smile on my face. Occasionally, I would have a break down, but God always picked me back up. I didn’t understand why everything had to happen the way it did.
Because of that situation, I was angry at God for a period. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was. I didn’t know how to pray for a season…I was lost. But through it all, God kept His hands on me and my family continuously gave me their undying love and support. It was a very difficult transition and hard to process it all. It wasn’t overnight, that’s for sure. Over the summer God took the time to open my eyes to a lot that I did not realize about the father of my child. Sheesh…there was a lot. I thank God for the revelation!!! There were questions that her father couldn’t answer me with a straight face…and that was just plain old sad. But it’s cool, because what the enemy meant for my harm, God meant it for my good 🙂
Over the summer, what kept me sane was writing blog posts while traveling on the train to work. It really helped me to keep my mind off the foolishness while I was healing. The problems that I had with my daughter’s father didn’t just begin in May, they were happening for about a year. From explosive arguments to worse….yes worse… I was not raised in a household where”the worse” was okay. While being with the father of my child, I was at my lowest point and I couldn’t see it, but my family could, but I didn’t listen, God had to show me for Himself. But…like I said…what the devil meant for my harm…God meant it for my good!
Through all the transitions, I struggled financially with a lack of financial support from my the father of my child. As well as…I am the one who has her 90% of the time…except when she goes to daycare or one of my parents graciously steps in and takes her for a night over. It has been tough. I do get worn out, I am still young and want to go out…but this is the way it is right now. I love my child dearly and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her, trust and believe that!!!! I’ve gone broke just seeing that she has all she needs and some of her wants. She doesn’t lack a thing and I thank God!!! It’s tough when all the financial and emotional responsibility is on one parent…but when the other parent is highly selfish, doesn’t show up to see his child on numerous occasions, doesn’t inquire about their child often, harasses the other parent instead, and doesn’t provide financially—I let it build me up to make me stronger, because I know that God is with me. Because what the devil meant for harm….yep you said it- God meant it for my good.
I don’t look back and regret a thing! It happened and I’ve grown…there’s no point in looking back. I’m moving forward right now and that’s all that matters for my daughter’s and I future!
As you can see, I have lots to give thanks for!!!- Life, health, strength, a career, my beautifully active daughter, family, creativity, sanity, peace of mind, and soooo much more! So on this thanksgiving, don’t focus on what you do not have, but rather keep an eye on all of your blessings that surround you daily.
As always…thanks for stopping by…
And a Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!!!!