Category Archives: Daily Inspiration

%$#Life….got that figured out yet???

Once upon a time I thought that I had life all figured out…yup…but I was wrong!

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I always thought I knew what I was doing and what was going to happen next.  I had life all figured out, before giving myself a chance to live it.  That all changed when a “monkey wrench” was thrown into my plans!  Back in November 2014, I was in a very minor car accident that left no harm to my vehicle.  Instead…something rare was discovered on my heart.

I didn’t know it then, but I had a “thymoma” on my heart a.k.a. cancer of the thymus gland at stage 2.  I never felt sick or anything strange with my heart or chest area before, but I am so grateful to God that this mass was found!  A few months later, in early January, I had it removed.  It was a very difficult time period from November to January.  I had no idea what was  going on in my body.  All we knew is that it was an “unknown mass” on my heart at the time.  All the events of getting blood work done, MRI’s, doctor’s visits and being told that I couldn’t have a biopsy done because there was a possibility that the needle could go through my heart if I coughed or sneezed on the operating table….did not put me at ease, needless to say.

During this time, I was very uneasy, avoided people, avoided phone calls from the surgeon…it was a tough time mentally and emotionally to grasp this new reality.  I had never been hospitalized before, except for the birth of my child…so all of this was very weird and shocking.  As the day grew nearer for my surgery to take place, I shed a ton of tears in private.  I also disclosed to all of my family members what I was facing.  The most important part was for everything to go right, so that I would be around to raise and watch my wonderful child grow.

However, as it became closer to the day of my surgery, something took place on the inside of me….a major transition of emotions. On the inside, I had become bolder and more confident.  More confident in knowing that I’ll be okay and come out of surgery even greater and stronger than before.  Weird sense of intuition, but I knew I’d be okay as the day grew closer.  I put all of my trust in God.  However, the night before my surgery I couldn’t sleep…I might’ve slept for about two hours…the suspense in waiting kept me up for most of the night.

January 12th was here before I knew it…and I was a nervous wreck!  I was off to the hospital and it wasn’t long before I was in preparation for the surgery to take place.  I remember being wheeled back into the room and seeing many rows of scissors before they performed the robotic surgery on my heart.  Not long after freaking out in the operating room, I fell asleep and only remember what came next…

Which was the excruciating pain that I was in after being cut open and poked and prodded everywhere!  LOL!

The entire experience was a major journey and turn of events in my life.  I was in tons of pain during recovery and home for nearly a month.  Soon after healing up…I underwent six weeks of radiation therapy every morning before going to work.  Throughout all of this, I am truly thankful to God, my family, friends, co-workers, doctors, surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, and therapists for their support, encouragement, and kindness.

When it comes down to it…I thought that I had life all figured out.  I knew what was next, hey I knew it all.  HA!  As for having life figured out, I don’t.  And that is okay, because this sudden turn of events has ignited a strength in me that won’t die.  I’ve encountered so many emotions along this path from sorrow to uneasiness, to a strength to live life fully.  I may not have life figured out, but I choose to live and that’s half the battle to living a fulfilled life.

Life may throw some unexpected turn of events your way, but embrace them as part of your “journee” for a learning experience that cannot be compared to anything else.  Trust God.

~As always…thanks for stopping and feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

TunnelVision

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Living life is a journey and a road that we’re all traveling. Along the way we come across some speed bumps and road blocks that may hinder us from going the desired rate that we imagined to reach our goals. However, we should in no way allow that to deter us from the desired outcome that we planned for. Although the plans to reach your goals may change along the way, don’t let that stop you from achieving what you have set your mind to do.

Things will not always turn out as we think they should. When that happens, we should reroute to pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. Don’t hesitate, move forward, there is more joy in accomplishing what you are passionate about than giving up and creating an excuse that’ll make you feel better. Where there is a will, there is a way, so set your mind to it and make that dream happen.

All things are possible if you believe, are you willing to believe? Do you have faith that you can overcome that obstacle and achieve your dreams, hopes, passions, most intimate desires??

Let me tell you a quick story, I once knew a girl who so desperately wanted to earn her college degree that she could taste it. However, right before her senior year of college, she was faced with serious financial difficulty. She had to pay over $2,000 to the school or she’d be kicked out of the university until she paid off that semester. Her mom couldn’t help, her father just gave thousands to her younger sibling in school as well, and just paid a few hundred on her semester bill that fall already- with two more children at home, he didn’t have it then.  This girl reached out to family and friends and prayed every night for God to show her a miracle. As it became closer to the deadline, she became more stressed and her faith began to waiver. She cried EVERY NIGHT. She wasn’t ready to give up the campus life that she built for herself, without her degree that she was so close to earning.

One night, this girl had the brilliant idea and the “balls” to e-mail the president of the university about her situation, to ask for  her  help and offer any freelance skills she could in art. That night, the president forwarded her email to the executive director of financial aid. Who was this?? Lol. She already knew people in high places in financial aid, but never anyone such as this! That night the executive director of financial aid e-mailed the girl back….and would you believe it…her bill was paid….with thousands leftover!

That girl was me. I say all that to say, don’t let go of your dreams, look them in the face and achieve them by any means necessary! Fear and doubt are no longer options!  Turn off the interference and turn on the TunnelVision, there are some dreams and goals to achieve right now! If you’ve stopped, pick up from where you left off and keep going!

Just Me x Flaws and All

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I am me, unapologetic and fully confident.  I must admit…it took me awhile to get to this point.  For the longest, I thought that I had everything to prove to everyone else.  I thought I had to be considered the skinniest, prettiest, and every other -est by everybody else.  In spending sometime by myself and taking the time to pursue those dreams closest to my heart…I simply realize that everybody’s else’s thoughts about me are not the absolute.  I can only be me…and truly that is the best way to be.

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I’ve got blemishes, stretchmarks, bruises, scars…you name the flaw and I probably have it somewhere lol.  I am by no means perfect and I love that about myself!  I’ve finally gotten to a point where I accept and love who I am, who God made me to be.  My flaws aren’t just on the inside, they are on the inside as well and I am asking God to help me with those as well.  I’m not perfect and I own that and it took me a long time to get to this place in life.  There is no need for me to be content with being fake or unreal, I am who I am and I love whom God made me to be.

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Who am I?  Just me lol.  A young college educated mother of one, who is a blogger, artsy, and ambitious.  While this Queen sits on her throne and awaits her King…she won’t be moping around.  Instead, she’ll be loving who God made her to be, raising her princess, and working.  I don’t know why it took me so long, but I truly thank God for this confidence, I am me all day long and I love it!  I accept my flaws and appreciate the good that I have to offer.  I know I wrote an entire post about flaws…but with everyone talking about what is always perfect…I just thought I’d be different and discuss what’s not so perfect….beginning with me and that is okay.  Because what isn’t perfect is real just as much as what is perfection can be real.  There’s so much to me and I am exploring it all!

Take a look in the mirror and smile and love whom God made you to be.  Now you see the you that everyone else loves so much!  Accept your flaws because they are real and make you uniquely you.  No one else can have your flaw or your perfection because God made them especially for you!  Which is beyond beautiful.

“Gelatto Dreams” x My Art x Inspired

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Hi, today’s post is a little personal to me.  I am currently reading a book and I was inspired from a particular chapter in that book to create a painting such as this.  The funny part is, I sketched this painting out about a month ago!  Well, I finally got to it after all the madness settled down.  Although I named this particular painting “Gelatto Dreams”, just because I like the way it sounds and it kind of looks like it….I’ve been eating peach frozen yogurt allllll week long yummy!  This painting is a water color on bristol board- I’m going to start investing in canvas, although this paper is thick and super durable, the edges curled on the final product, so I’ll have to frame it soon to protect it.

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When I originally sketched this painting out, I created four squares because I was inspired by Pop Artist Andy Warhol and I only wanted to use bold and bright fantasy colors- life is great with plenty of color!

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Got all the color in, just wanted to have some creative fun!

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I love the painting at this stage, I was inspired by another great artist, Henri Matisse.  His use of thick bold lines in his art is captivating, since being inspired….I used them as well to outline the painting….it gave the art some life!

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The final product as you first saw it.  I added some brush strokes around the painting to make it more lively.  I like…I hope you do too.  Leave your thoughts below, I’d love to know what you think.  If you have any questions, you can leave them in the comments section below.  Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!

MLK Day x Community x Building

(from the Seattle Times newspaper- google)

Today was the National Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service, a day of community involvement and growth.  While I was a college student, I faithfully participated in Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day of service while on campus.  However, once I graduated from college I believe that I lost sight about how powerful this day is.  It is a day when people from different backgrounds in the community come together in an effort to improve and empower from within using service and other community building exercises.  Once I graduated from college, I lost sight of that purpose and focus and used this day of service as a day to serve myself and sleep in.

Fast forward a couple of years and I’m now a mom and I want to teach my child the importance and value of community and what the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. stood for.  Lost are those days of complete selfishness laying up in my bed.  However even on this particular day, I did not have the opportunity to take my daughter out to participate in any of the wonderful community service activities that were happening, because I had to work.  To be honest, the bills need to paid and I have an extra mouth to feed.  I felt so bad while I was at work today, because I truly wanted to be out performing some community service.

When I was a college student I was heavily into serving the community. My friends and I would go downtown with Bibles and food to hand out to the homeless, we would volunteer at Chosen 300 homeless ministries, anytime a homeless person asked for food- I would buy it or give them my pre-packaged food- whatever.  I was also a Sunday School and VBS teacher for two years while I worked full time as an elementary level teacher.  I also went to local nursing homes alone and with friends to sing hymns with the elderly, talk with them, and read God’s Word.  All of this…and what happened?

I got caught up in my own self serving ways and failed to continue to recognize the need in the community for volunteers.  In my opinion this is sad and I failed myself and my community, however it isn’t too late to pick up where I’ve left off.  I haven’t made a New Year’s Resolution in years, but if there’s one worth making, it’s to find a location to volunteer at and take my daughter with me to teach her at this tender age how important it is to give back.  I just feel as though I’ve been taking all of these years and haven’t been giving back and it’s time for me to change that, because change begins within.

If there’s anything that I need to remember it is to remember the path that was paved for me by my forefathers and what their insight was into what the future could be for us all.  If anything, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. stood for the community and building, and if he said anything, he didn’t say to disregard other races, but rather to embrace them because we cannot categorize everyone in a single race to the hatred that some carry. As Dr. King stated in his famous “I Have A Dream” speech “We cannot walk alone.” He surely did not want me or anyone of us to carry that hatred or bitterness in our hearts.  Although I did not have the opportunity to participate in today’s beautiful community service events due to work obligations….I won’t let that stop me from serving.  You can hold me to it, I will find a place for baby girl and I to volunteer and support a charitable organization this year!  If you know of any great organizations, please share them with me in the comments section below.

…As always…thanks for stopping by….

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. “I Have a Dream Speech”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service

2014 x A New Year’s Resolution!

Happy New Year’s everyone!  It’s 2014 already and I’m pretty sure that we’ve all made our New Year’s resolutions for the upcoming year and have probably broken them by now. When 2014 came this year…I failed to make any New Year’s resolutions because I know that I will not keep them.  I break them every year along with everyone else, so I’ve given up on making those resolutions.

I can tell you this, this year I plan to live and follow my dreams.  Whether success comes my way or if I’m hit with an immediate failure, I’m going to get back up and live out the dreams that I’ve had for so long.  2013 was a year of major changes for me.  My daughter and I went through so many rough transitions, but with the love and help from God, family, and friends, we are stronger than we once were.  2014 is a year of untapped opportunities that I plan to take part in full force!

Everyday I am changing, re-evaluating, refocusing, and evolving myself.  If anything, 2014 is my year of opportunities.  As opportunities for growth present themselves, I am willing to take on the challenge and pursue them.  There’s no reason for me to be in the same place in 2015.  2014….I am looking forward to you….and although I do not have a definite resolution in place….I am declaring that this is my year of growth and taking advantage of opportunities as they arise without fear.  And that is something that I’m working on everyday!

How I spent my New Year’s:  Low key, with a cold and plenty of treats to hold me over….

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Cupcakes!!!!  2014!!!

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This yummy chicken penne pasta from a local Italian grocer…yummmmmmmm!!!!!!!

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This was my only glass…it’s sweet but strong…lasted me about two weeks!

That’s how I spent my New Year’s this year, in the house and cozy under a blanket while watching New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and more on T.V. How did you spend New Year’s?  Drop a line below and let me know!

….As always…thanks for stopping by…

Where does your PASSION lie?

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What motivates you?  What drives you?  What is the one thing you cannot live without?  For me, it’s overall creativity and freedom of thought and expression.  That’s something that I put in the back closet for a long time…instead of moving in full force to achieve my dreams and goals…I stopped.  Somewhere along the way, I stopped.  If you know me, then you know that’s not normal for me…I almost had to drop out of college due to lack of funding…but I’m the girl who e-mailed the president of the university and was able to come across the funding to stay in school and graduate based off of that one e-mail.  Once I graduated, I went in full force to pursue my dreams and I was on the right track…but somewhere along the way I derailed and lost sight of achieving my dreams.  I lost focus and stopped.

Eventually, I got tired of being knocked down, denied, and crushed because of the lack of resources that were available to me.  This happens to many of us somewhere along the way…and I totally lost my focus.  But one day…as I looked into my daughter’s eyes, I realized that I wanted more for her future and for mines as well.  I didn’t want her to think that mediocre living was okay, so I began to live once again through the gift that God has given me.  I live for creativity!  At times, I did become frustrated and discouraged by the lack of support that I was receiving from my former relationship…yet I continued to press on with my daughter on my hip.  I am blessed to have come across some amazing entrepreneurs that encouraged me to pursue what I love.

Jermaine Pratt of JPratt foot wear once said to me when I had my daughter on my hip at Philly Fashion Week “hey, she has to get used to the runway shows, this is what you do and she’ll be apart of it someday.”  I ran across Big Rube Harley in Center city one day and he said to me “don’t worry about the bills or anything because they’re gonna be there regardless, just go for what you love to do…don’t worry about that stuff.”  Big Rube is such a cool dude and he is a photographer for the Daily News, high fashion photographer being booked in NY now, co-owns a farmer’s market, and he used to co-own Mitchell &Ness in Philadelphia.  What he said does sound scary…especially having a child…however I see what he is saying.  Basically, he’s saying “Live your Dreams”, and I agree…but I won’t be quitting my job anytime soon. 

Even Philly’s own Hip Hop Artist Chase Allen…I first found out about him at the Philly Wine Mixer and I just liked his performance at first.  I received a copy of his mix tape and decided to listen to it one night and since then…I’ve been a fan.  My go to track on his mix tape “Tunnel Vision”, is track 4, “Passion”, that song hit home for me.  Basically, he talks about Passion in three parts…his passion for music, his moms passion for his father, and Jesus’ passion for the world.  The hook is “you gotta have passion, you gotta have passion, if all else fails….at least you got your passion.”  That alone had me thinking…do I have my passion?

For a long time, I lost myself…I lost myself to the pain and hurt of regret and doubt.  Being around individuals who are moving and continue to make moves…I decided that its time for me to move again.  There’s no growth in staying still…sometimes for a moment we do need to be still because of life’s circumstances, however at some point it’s time to pick up and start moving again….and that’s where I am.  Where are you?