Freedom in a New Light

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Changes and transitions in life can throw us off, especially when they are unexpected, but you never know what God is up to when they occur.  The older we become, the more difficult it becomes to adapt to major sudden changes in our lives.  Although it can be hard to face change…don’t knock it because it could be a good thing….a very good thing.  People come and go, jobs change, living situations change, money changes, and friends may even change….but if you’re ever looking for something constant, God is.

We cannot control the outside forces that push us to transition into another place in life, however can do have control over how we react to it and whether or not we grow from it.  We cannot even control the reactions of the  people in our lives that may be faced with the same situation and pressure and that can reveal the true contents of the people/ person that we may be around.  We don’t always understand the “why?” or reason things happen…but they do…and if we stay still long enough and remain calm, the reason “why” may be revealed to us.

If I’m talking about changes and transitions so much, then why did I entitle this post “freedom in  a new light?”  Well, because the shifting of people, places, and things that can happen during major life changes can actually bring about a new freedom and light in our lives.  I’ve talked about it before…about 7 months ago I split up with the father of my child.  He refused to allow me to get mines and our daughter’s belongings on numerous occasions.  At first, I admit it set me off…mostly because he doesn’t even provide for her…but God.   He actually ended up trashing and destroying 96% of mines and my daughter’s belongings, but that is okay.  I’m no fool, I prepared for that moment without believing that it would happen.  I began replacing my daughter’s toys, clothing, and shoes before the occurrence.  As for myself, I lost so much weight in the transition that I wouldn’t have been able to fit most of my old clothing anyhow.  However, I was able to retrieve important documents, my daughter’s favorite tutu’s, and my designer bags before he had a chance to trash that.

Yes, this sounds horrible and low down dirty for a person to do, but it was for my good.  I didn’t need that stuff and the more I wasn’t around, the more I didn’t desire that “stuff.”  All of that “stuff” contained old memories that were tossed into the trash, I don’t need them.  I don’t need a daily reminder of how poorly I was treated by someone I devoted myself to and trusted for years.  I am not bashing the individual, I am just saying that through all of that and getting past the emotions of anger and sadness has allowed me to have a freedom in a new light.  Through it all, God kept me.  There is no other way to put it.  The change happened, major life transitions were into place, and I had to remain calm.  Yes, I cried often, very often…but after the tears I did see the new light.  The new light of happiness, freedom, and life that was waiting for me.  I didn’t snap or lash out against the individual, and even to this day I don’t.  I’ve forgiven and now I move on.  I could not control how he reacted to me or individuals nearby, but I could control my emotions and reactions. 

If I didn’t control my emotions or reactions, I’d be out of a job, would have let down my child, and disappointed family and friends.  I was able to remain so calm, that my father had to call me one day and ask “how are you doing with all of this?”  The question caught me off guard, because I just put my daughter as my responsibility ahead of how I was feeling.  She has needs and she has a mommy and loving family that meets them.  I didn’t think twice about my obligations or leaving them and I’m so glad I didn’t.  No matter what comes your way…it’s gonna come, just be conscious of your reaction to life’s events and happenings and trust God.  Always remain calm, peace will get you farther than anger.  Operating off of anger can be poisonous and set you back farther than what you desire.  Always be mindful of how you carry yourself and react around others.  Yes cry, yes scream, yes yell, yes vent to loved ones…but there is a time and a place to do that.  Hey, even get counseling if you need to.  I thought about it once…but when they say time heals all wounds….it’s kind of true, trusting God and allowing time to take it’s course can help.

If you look into my eyes now, you won’t find tears, because they have turned into strength and determination to build a better future for my family.  Sadness was apart of my life at one point, but today I smile and sing, because God has brought me this far and I am truly grateful.  I may not have all the material wealth that I’d like to possess, but I am content with what God has blessed me with and to me, that is living.  What God has blessed me with, I will no longer sit on or just look at idly…but I’m pounding the pavement and have raised a level up to aggressive ambition….if I fail, then so what….doesn’t mean that I’ll give up.  What is success without knowing what failure is?  Failure is not my end.  This new freedom and light of understanding that I posses gives me the strength to carry on knowing that God is with me always.

 

As always…thanks for stooping by…

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